How do I grieve the loss of my husband and best friend? I put one foot in front of the other and allow the people in my life help me walk through the pain. I say yes when they ask me to coffee, even though I would rather stay home and sleep.
The first few weeks were so unbearable I did not think I as ever going to smile again, but six months after his death, I have started to feel like I may be able to smile and mean it.
My friends have been supporting me through every painful step and I am beginning to make new friends along the way.
I haven’t been running like I used to because it is lonely out there, churning out mile after mile. Now I am dancing and have met some great people in the Salsa community.
As I begin to rebuild my life in 2015, some unexpected feelings have come up for me. I am confused about my feelings toward a new person in my life. I am not ready for a committed relationship and I do not want to be in love, but this person is making me feel again.
This morning has been difficult as I grieve the loss of my husband and miss the new man I have been spending so much time with. I guess grieving is messy and cannot fit inside of a tidy little box. I want to stick my feelings into sensible categories so I can manage them, but it just doesn’t work like that.
For 2015, I will continue to say yes to my friends and will keep making new friends. I will dance more that I will run, and I will let my messy feelings out.